Life with Pectus Excavatum

Thirty four years into my life, I have decided to write about my feelings for this little known congential defect that I have known as Pectus excavatum or (PE).  I bet you didn't know that is prevelent in 1 in 400 births, a stat that I found hard to believe.  In 34 years I have only met one other person that had PE and he was my brother in law.  No relation obviously.  I realize that our condition is not of one that we like to speak of.  I know for myslef that I have struggled for years with my appearance.   Since a child I have always been embarrased to take off my shirt for there was always questions to be answered.  Most of my childhood friends were aware of my sunken chest because we were always swimming when we were younger.  My friends nicknamed me Holy, appropriate for my hole in my chest.  I never let people know that it bothered me, but deep down inside it always did.  Pectus Excavatum in goes mostly unnoticed on a daily basis and people really dont know you have it until you expose yourself.  I always wore loose fitting shirts because they help to disguise my chest, where as tight shirts would show my abnormality, especially the flaring lower ribs.  I remember when I first entered the 7th grade, I had a fear of gym class because I knew I was going to have to change clothes everyday at school.  I never had any moments of embarrasement becasue I always changed my shirts while holding it in front of me and never really allowing for others to notice.  As I entered High School I would have to endure the same thing all over again.  I once again was unable to open up about my chest and continued to hide, only my closest friends really knowing my condition.  It did not hinder my chances at finding love,  I met and married my high school sweetheart, and she never question my sunken chest, and she always accepted it as normal.  She maybe was the first person I met to never have made a big deal out of it.  She help me to grow from hiding so much.  Throughout the years my weight has gone up and down from 175 - 225 and always the more out of shape i got the more i hated my chest.  When I was 25 I hightly considered having surgery to correct my condition.  I did much research and found a great doctor at UCLA and they reccommened that I was a great candidate for the surgery.  I thought long and hard about it, but I never did the surgery.  I didn't know how I could care for my family if I had done the surgery and had to be out of work for several months for the recover.  There was much to think about, what if I had the surgery and I was not happy with the results?   I knew there would also be some major scars from the procedure as well.  I began to think and realized that I have lived this long with it, why not learn to accept it.  So thats what I did, just continued on living my life.  Everday that went by I still would think about my chest and every time I showered I was reminded that I was different than everyone else and that I would never have the body that I would be happy with.  I did finally come to terms with it and even was able to be shirtless at pool parties or the beach, but once out of the water, I was always still quick to cover up with a shirt or towel.  Now it is the year 2011 and I am 34 years old and still living with my PE, however Im now having a new outlook on it.  After discovering P90x I have gotten into the best physical shape of my life.  For the first time in my life, I look forward to seeing my chest and body.  Gone is the extra few pounds that made my appreance worse, gone is the fear of showing off my chest without a shirt.  I have a six pack abs for the first time ever and muscles like I never thought possible.  I am proud to say that my Pectus Excavatum, while still there is now not really something I dwell over anymore.  Now when I look in the mirror the first thing I see is not my holy chest, but a fit a trim body that I can be proud of.   Now when people see my they will see a person who is muscular and fit, and if they ask about chest being different I will tell them that I have what is called pectus excavatum and it doesn't bother me a bit, So what's your excuse.  This summer for the first time in my life I will walk the beach proudly with no shirt and give no thought to me being different, Ill just another person at the beach.    Check out my progress at http://www.beachbodycoach.com/myfitbodynow  I will soon post picture updates so you can see my development.  Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear any responses or questions anyone might have.  Especially from those with PE.   God Bless!!